Wonderful and Woeful Watches: April 22nd 2014

I have so much free time lately that I’ve started to indulge in new television shows and an occasional movie here and there to keep me amused and to keep my brain moving. TV is my “jam”, so to speak, and I generally always side with it when given the option. Thankfully, this week I discovered a few new shows that have the potential to be quite fantastic!

House of Lies

Sex, money, management consulting. Not the most sensual lineup, no?

The only reason that I took a chance on this show is because of the cast. Kristen Bell is the woman of my heterosexual dreams, and I just haven’t seen enough of her work. Don Cheadle in a comedic role sounded just dandy after his turn as “War Machine/Iron Patriot” in Iron Man 3, and hey, Jean-Ralphio, from Parks and Recreation! As annoying as his character is, my god is he funny. Case in point.

The show is quite cocky,along with its main characters, so the humanity element has yet to be revealed. It is what I imagine ‘Wolf of Wall Street’ to be like in television form (Note: I have not seen this particular film….sorry). There is plenty of boobs, narcissism, money and ‘in your face’ speeches, but they haven’t quite drawn in the emotional folks such as myself. I want to see some humility! Hence, I will continue to watch, because there is some great potential.

Franklin and Bash

Two words: Breckin Meyer. If I wasn’t in love with his before, I am now.

Women everywhere squirm at the thought of Zack Morris in a suit for 40 minutes a week, and with good reason. Swoon. Both of these guys have charisma, great comedic timing and chemistry. Its not the most original story in the world (two arrogant 30-something lawyers who have no familes live together in between winning cases with their unconventional methods and arrogant lawyer charm), BUT I can forgive a lack of originality when it is this enjoyable. It doesn’t try to be pretentious and it doesn’t ‘reach’ too far for laughs. It is just a good time.

Now for the bad news….

Spring Breakers

I really wanted to steer clear of negativity on this blog, but I just hated this movie.

Firstly, I was VERY offput from about five minutes in because I didn’t realize that it written by one of the guys responsible for ‘Kids’, the movie that first taught me what being uncomfortable really was when I was eight. I sincerely thought this was going to be a rom com.

Putting that aside, however, this movie was just downright STRANGE. The music choices are bizarre. The constantly looping dialogue throughout, along with the recurring scenes was a poor attempt at being “noir”. The story was a huge reach and the characters are so unbelievably unrelatable that I didn’t know what to do with myself while watching this. The sexuality is SO forced that it isn’t remotely sexy at all. It is just plain disturbing. The main characters all have stripper names, and the overly sexual way that they interact with one another is just beyond my understanding. The only way that I can describe it is “an old white mans wet dream”. I was waiting for a naked pillow fight to break out. James Franco’s character ‘Alien’ is entirely ridiculous, to the point where even Franco’s dedication to the role could not save it. Every single thing that he said had no value or realism to it, even for a guy who was probably on drugs half the time.

It tried so hard to be deep and edgy, and it just ended up being empty and meaningless. I can’t explain how uncomfortable and ludicrous this movie was, but I absolutely would not watch it again. Sorry, folks.

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